9.22.10 - Continued (Mis)Adventures in Cooking and Speaking Thai

I have now successfully finished three cooking classes, which is enough to obtain a certification in Thai cooking! Yay...except that I thought I had to take five classes to get certified, and my instructor wasn't prepared with my certificate the day of my third class, so I didn't receive my certificate. I will either just pop by the school to pick it up, or I will take another class. I haven't decided yet. It is funny how the dynamics of each class are entirely different depending on the people who are in it. For example, the first class we were a large group of mixed ages but mostly older people. The second class was mostly young people, and mostly Americans. I knew from the moment we were in the market and they wouldn't stop making jokes about the shapes of the eggplants, and by their near-constant commentary over the instruction of the teacher, that it was going to be a long and embarrassing class. And I was correct. By the end of the class our instructor was so exasperated by the loudness, rudeness and apparent oblivion of the American boys to the latter two offenses (well to be fair one of the obnoxious ones was Canadian, but went to high school in the states), that he picked out the quietest student in the class, a German girl sitting next to me, and asked her, "Where are you from? I like you! You are my favorite, so quiet, always listening when I am teaching" and then ended his little rhetoric with a scathing glare at the American boys. They were young, rich boys from the West coast; if these were their only offenses it would have been fine. But to make matters worse, they were fresh out of college and still under the notion that their status as college basketball players actually acquitted them from having to act like normal human beings in real life. It was made all the more note-worthy by the fact that the boys were totally unfazed by our instructor's exasperation, and would actually make comments like, "Is this guy for real?" and "This guy is a total zoo" when he left the room. While it is true that the instructor is a bit eccentric (he's actually very sarcastic, which is funny only because most Thai people are too polite to make fun of others so blatantly), describing him as "a total zoo" didn't quite seem to fit the description, especially because the reason he was being so sarcastic and biting was because of them! But I guess they didn't realize that, as they hadn't experienced classes without themselves in it. I had, and I wished for more of them.

Fortunately, my third class was more like the first, with a group of mostly older people and a few young ones, and only one other American who was as unobtrusive and enjoyable as the basketball players were the opposite. I also met a lovely old Swiss man, who having worked for 50 years at a school for mentally challenged children, was granted an extra 1 month paid vacation. His wife, who is a translator for the deaf at five different schools, could not find five people to replace her and so was unable to accompany him on his holiday. She also apparently hates to fly, so I don't think she really begrudged his going. He was so full of excitement and wonder about everything, and was going to take a few different classes so he could go home and cook for his wife. In addition to him and the American, there was a group of three young Korean girls who were on holiday together; they were so funny, a South African lady whose husband had to come to Bangkok on business and she accompanied him for a holiday, a French woman whose husband was also there on business, and a very shy Scottish man who took the better part of the day to come out of his shell. The dynamics of this class were so fun, and so different from the one before, that I think the food even tasted better.

And then there is Thai class. I had a good week last week; I felt like I was getting the hang of some things, like I could make myself understood, and we all were all laughing and having a good time discussing how much things cost, and where we are from, and if our parents are nice, etc. Then Thursday came and my teacher was a different lady, and I couldn't understand a word she said. She didn't enunciate things the way the other teacher had; in fact she talked as a normal Thai speaking person talks. And for about the first hour I had to remind myself that I am of average intelligence, that I am not, in fact, very stupid. After I got used to the way that she spoke I was able to grasp things more quickly, but it was quite a frustrating first hour of class. Then, on this past Monday, after a weekend comprised of staying out dancing till 5am, shopping all day Saturday, going out with the girls for more dancing, and then sightseeing all day on Sunday, I was exhausted. And the room was such a nice temperature and we were all talking so quietly that I just could not stay awake!! Which, by the way, is so much more embarrassing when you're sitting at a table with three other people, as opposed to sitting in a lecture hall with 50 other people. It's kind of hard to hide the head-bobbing when you are sitting directly across from your teacher. I was so mortified by this, that I have vowed to spend my evening tonight studying Thai in preparation for my class tomorrow, so I must go get started!!

9.11.10 - Myself as a Thai: speech impediments and cooking genius

It has been a week of discovery this week! I had my first Thai language class this week, and I am struggling! That is to put it kindly. To put it accurately, I sound like a 2 yr old with severe cognitive impairment when I attempt to conversate in Thai. I'm not sure if that is a very politically correct way of saying it, but it really is the truth. The class is small (two other students beside myself) but I missed one day of class as I signed up late, so they already had the advantage over me. And, they are Japanese, so I have a feeling that the vowel sounds and the idea of tonality might not be as foreign to them as it is to me. All of this is just me trying to make myself feel better about my absolute hopelessness regarding the acquisition of Thai, which it doesn't seem to be accomplishing anyways so I'll stop now. But I know how to count in Thai, which has given me more incentive to shop; I must practice my numbers after all, and what better way is there? It funny though, my homework for the weekend was to compose and answer 10 questions in Thai. We aren't learning the Thai alphabet (which I'm really sad about) so it's written with English letters and accent marks to denote the tonal changes. We learned how to describe things, and the nice part about it is that to compose these sentences you don't have to conjugate any verbs. In fact, to say, "is your shirt new?" you say literally "shirt yours new, no?" and if the answer is yes you say "shirt new", if the answer is no you say "shirt not new". There is no "is", there is no verb at all actually. But the word for new is "mai" and the word for no is "mai" and the only difference is your tonal inflections. Here is where all the trouble comes. So, I have to confess, I was hoping that Thai cooking would come a little easier to me than the Thai language. Having now done both my first language class and my first cooking class, I would venture to say that Thai cooking is the exact antithesis of the Thai language. It is uncomplicated, easy, and you can adjust it to your personal tastes as needed. Ah if only everything were so easy and produced such amazing results! I am about to lapse into a food coma, so I want to get this out before I do. I had the most amazing morning! First we went to the market, and bought our materials. We got little lessons on the herbs and vegetables used in Thai cooking, then we walked back to our kitchen and began a marathon of cooking. We made 5 different dishes, all of them (other than the rice which was made for us in a rice cooker) in one single wok over a single flame. The key is the fresh ingredients, and then everything else is so simple you wouldn't believe you get the results you do with that little equipment and time! You can add or take away spice, sweetness, bitterness and salty as you think necessary, as all four of these flavors are always present in Thai food, in what seems to always be the perfect balance. We made tom yum soup, pad thai, chicken salad with sticky rice, green curry with vegetables and chicken and for desert a turnip diced and tossed in tapioca flour, cooked, and served in sweet coconut milk. And maybe my favorite part was that all the coconut milk for the recipes we made by hand from shaved dry coconut! So yummy! Another really great part is that I made a friend!!! She is from the Philippines, and she is in Bangkok for work for a month, so we made plans to do touristy things together on the weekends. All in all it was a very satisfying day. And it's only halfway over!! After Julia gets off work tonight, we are planning to head out for a little bit of Bangkok night life with Anna, so I must go rest up a little bit... I am planning on doing lots of dancing to work off the 5 course meal I cooked and ate today, and if I'm going to spend an evening in high heels, I better not be tired and cranky!

9.6.10 - Bangkok

I can't believe a week has passed by in Bangkok already! Julia is back at work this morning, and it looks like this week she won't even have Sunday off so I will be left to my own devices all week long. Fortunately, I have learned how to pronounce the name of the drop-off point for the motor-bike drivers, so I now can get home after running errands. I start cooking classes on Saturday, and I'm really excited about that. It should include a trip to the market, a lecture on Thai ingredients and methods, and then a few hours of cooking...and best of all, I get to keep all my results! Perhaps I'll save some for Julia, perhaps I'll eat them all myself before I even make it home, I don't know. Only time will tell.
Today I'm going to investigate some options for Thai language classes. As I have mentioned in the past, I've been getting started here at home with looking up some Thai language lessons online. The most useful ones are obviously those with voice recordings of English phrases translated into Thai. Otherwise if things are just written, I don't know how to read their alphabet, and I certainly don't know how to make all the intonations necessary to communicate. But I have discovered that there is something for every Thai-language need. In my search this morning, I came across the website Thaiforlovers.com, which is exactly what you might expect it to be: cheesy, romantic phrases translated into Thai. No voice recordings, only things that you would cut and paste into a makeshift love letter or valentine's day card. But don't worry, this will really help you develop your inter-cultural relationship. Which leads me to point out one of my observations of Bangkok social life: it is a haven for fat, washed up, middle-aged white men. They love Thailand. Why, you might ask? Because while Western women view them as how I have just described them (one might say we see them as they really are), Thai women see them as walking dollar signs. This might be a bit of a harsh assessment, but it is the only reason I can think of that would account for the fact that the vast majority of mixed couples I see here are composed of beautiful, young, manicured Thai woman, and an old, fat, ugly white man. The men are either blissfully ignorant of this perceptual difference, or they just don't care because "dude, she's hot". Call me a cynic, but I just don't think that love is blind enough to account for these, um, inequalities. And while Thai men are quite beautiful, somehow I don't think I'm going to have to know how to write "Ten thousand times farewell-yet stay a while. Sweet, kiss me once: sweet kisses time beguile" in Thai. So I will continue in my search for the acquisition of some sort of proficiency in the Thai language. Don't be confused by my use of the word proficiency when I come back to the states not being able to speak a full sentence in Thai. By proficiency I mean being able to count to 10, say hello, goodbye, how much and thank you without being laughed at or unknowingly saying something inappropriate, which, considering the intricacies and complexities of the language, is a feat in and of itself. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yesterday, I went on my first true Thai shopping trip. As my guide Anna (a friend and co-worker of Julia's) explained to me, shopping in Bangkok is not just a means to an end. It is a way of life, a pastime. And I can totally see why. The mall we went to was packed, an amazing amount of products and people crammed into a tiny amount of space. 6 floors of absolute commercial chaos. It was beautiful; there was everything you could ever want and then some. The sad thing for me is that a lot of the clothing shops were "one size fits all" kind of places. Except unlike the massive, flowy outfits that fit under that category in the States, all these clothes were extra small. Apparently "one size fits all" only if you are a tiny Asian woman. And there are no fitting rooms so you don't even have the joy of getting stuck in a garment that is too tight to make you not want to even contemplate trying another one on. Not only are the clothes really tiny, but the stalls themselves are too! At one point I was looking at belts or headbands or something with Anna, and when some other people wanted to come in, all of us had to turn and face each other and shimmy sideways to maneuver ourselves into and out of the store. It struck me that a good 25% of the U.S. population wouldn't even be able to fit into these stores! I'm not exactly slimness personified, but I managed ok; you can imagine though if I were pregnant or had a bit of a beer belly, it could have been a very uncomfortable situation. After a long, arduous day of shopping, Anna and I went for pedicures and manicures at the salon that she frequents. It was wonderful. Top it off with some pad thai, and I went home an exhausted but very satisfied person, if a little more broke than when I left. Until next time ...